Frustrated – Struggling – Stressed – Unhappy – Bored in a relationship, with yourself, as a parent, in your career. Feeling stuck? Is the situation not getting better despite your best efforts and wondering if anything will help.
Some things are difficult to do alone.
Counselling is not about changing who you are, it’s about understanding who you are, what you want and making informed choices.
One of the most important aspects of working with a counsellor is to know that they understand you, your world and what you want. If they don’t, counselling will be disconnected and unproductive.
What Happens in Counselling
- Being able to talk openly without judgment or being told what you should do
- Gaining a better understanding of the dynamics surrounding the issues
- Understanding how you got to this place
- Learning to understand your feelings about the situation and what you need
- Seeing how others might perceive the situation and their needs (which may be different from yours)
- Expanding your perspective on the situation
- Exploring options and actions you might take
- Addressing obstacles that keep you from getting what you want
- Understanding how past experiences might affect your current situation
- Providing you tools
- Establishing new behaviors and a more helpful thought process
Yes, we do talk about feelings, because how you feel is important. You want to feel better about yourself, your actions, life and others. Love, joy, happiness, fulfillment, satisfaction, peace, they are all feelings, ones that we desire. If we are aware of them (also the negative ones; sorrow, anger, frustration, hate…), they can help guide your choices and actions.
Sucking it up and ignoring or denying feelings just isn’t a good strategy. Knowing your feelings is a strength and will help you understand what you want and don’t want. Also, you can use them to assess and make choices as situations and life unfold.
Having your feelings inform your choices versus having them drive your choices is an important distinction we would explore.
Is Counselling Easy?
Is what you’re going through easy? Counselling is much more constructive, with a higher chance of positive change than doing more of what’s not working. Too often the focus is on pain reduction rather than dealing with the cause.
Is it Worth the Effort?
Yes! If you want to change, invest in it and work toward it, it will happen.
Let’s have a conversation to see how counselling can help, at the very least it will give you a few good ideas. I look forward to hearing from you.
Counselling Solution - Mark Tinley MA LMFT
14-24 Wellington Street
Marriage and Family Therapist
License # 52487
Board of Behavioral Sciences
American Association for
Marriage and Family Therapy
Certificate in Dynamic Psychotherapy
Newport Psychoanalytic Institute
Family Therapy Training Program
Southern California Counseling Center
Gestalt Training Program
Gestalt Training Institute
Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology
Bachelor of Science in Engineering Technology
California State Polytechnic University
Tau Alpha Pi National Honor Society