Getting by… But not Living the Life You Want?
Are you tired of the same thing
day after day after day?
Do you feel unsure how to get from where
you are to where you want to be?
You may be at a point in life where you have achieved all the things that “should” make you happy (marriage, relationships, job, house, kids, etc). And these are good. But you find yourself bored, restless and wanting something more, something else? Or possibly you have not obtained what you want and are wondering what you need to do to get it. I prefer to call this a time of mid-life assessment, reevaluation and direction change, though if unaddressed, it can become the classic mid-life crisis.
The focus of Mid-Life Counselling is helping those in mid-life find what they want. In our teens, our 20’s, our 30’s, whatever we want, whatever we hope for, whatever our dreams are, there is always the future for them to come true. But something happens when we transition into our 40’s. There is no denying it, we are in mid-life and there is a new urgency about what life is about. It’s no longer sufficient to think that it’s going to happen tomorrow, it’s about today, and we recognize that if we are going to accomplish what we want, if we’re going to live the life we want, then we need to do something about it now.
And we struggle with what this means and what we’re going to do about it. This usually requires us to make different choices and they can be difficult choices. As a result, there can be a tendency to distract one’s self.
Life is just one damn thing after another.
The problem for people who come in to therapy is that life
has become the same damn thing over and over again.
– John Weakland
You can buy things, you can do things, you can establish new relationships. And these things are a part of life…
The problem is when what we really want, what we really need, is something more, and we are unaware or avoiding the real issue, the real need.
In the end, these things just become a way of distracting ourselves and acting out our boredom, angst, anger or confusion.
So What Now?
Change can be difficult, or possibly we just don’t know what we want or what we need. If left unresolved it can turn into a crisis, which can be unproductive and even destructive.
So now what? Do you just struggle through it on your own or do you try something different? It might be time to step back and take a closer look at what you are doing, why you are doing it and what would give you more of what you want.
There are a lot of expectations that surround us, other people’s expectations, career demands, society and its values, but who are you really and what do you want. I think it’s during the 40s and 50s we really come to grips with this, and it’s a very personal journey.
What I offer in Mid-Life Counselling is a place to explore anything and everything you desire. Sometimes we hold ourselves back because we shouldn’t think this, we shouldn’t do that, and while there are things that probably aren’t a very good idea to do, it’s the exploration of them and what’s behind them that can be very important.
I know what it’s like to have unfulfilled hopes and dreams, to want more out of life and to not know how to get from where you’re at to where you want to be. Therapy, counselling, coaching, call it what you want, it can and does make a difference… even for us men. Consider finding what you want a problem to be solved, you just need to start working on it.
Contact me and let’s have a conversation to see if I can offer something different that will make a difference. This won’t cost you anything except a little time.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Counselling Solution - Mark Tinley MA LMFT
14-24 Wellington Street